Make Time Your Friend, Not Your Enemy

In A Christmas Carol, Charles Dicken’s wrote, “I will live in the Past, the Present, and the Future. The Spirits of all Three shall strive within me. I will not shut out the lessons that they teach.” What does it mean to live in the Past, the Present, and the Future? What lessons do they teach, and how are these lessons shut out? That’s what I’m interested in exploring, and I’m gonna explore this idea through a dialogue.

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The following is a conversation between a monk (M) and a student (S).

M: A wise person lives in the Past, the Present, and the Future all at once.

S: Wait, that doesn’t make any sense. How can I live anywhere but the present?

M: You’re taking my words too literally. What I mean is that the wise person understands the Effects of Time on their actions, and by doing so, they make Time their friend, not their enemy.

S: What do you mean they understand the Effects of Time on their actions, and how do they make Time their friend? What does that mean?

M: Time closes the gap between the way things are and the way they should be. Time reaps every seed you sow. If you water trees all day, eventually you’ll have a lot of fruit. In this case, you’ve made Time your friend. If you chop trees down all day, eventually you’ll starve yourself of oxygen. And so in this case, you’ve made Time your enemy. A wise person understands the Effects of Time on their actions and so befriends Time.

S: OK, so how do I understand the Effects of Time on my actions?

M: Understanding the Effects of Time on your actions actually occurs naturally. We call that process Learning. So the question isn’t how do you learn, but rather, what’s stopping you from learning? If the process is natural, you must have constructed some barriers against it.

S: Well, what is stopping me from learning?

M: There are two barriers to learning, but the best way to understand them is to first understand the two conditions necessary for learning to take place: sincerity and contradiction.

S: Can you explain them both for me?

M: Yeah, the first condition necessary for learning is sincerity. Sincerity is when you do what you genuinely want to do.

S: And why’s that necessary for learning?

M: In order for your understanding of the world to improve, you have to test your own knowledge, and the only time you’re actually testing your own knowledge is when you act sincerely. For example, think about these two scenarios. In the first scenario, you really wanna go to the mall, but you’ve never been there before. So you try and find your way there, using your own knowledge of the city. Now, in the second scenario, your friend jumps in your car and says, “let’s go to the mall.” You’ve never been there before, and you don’t really wanna go, but you agree. So they start giving you directions. In this case, you’re acting on their knowledge. In which scenario do you think you’ll learn better?

S: The first for sure. The one where I sincerely want to go to the mall and act on my own knowledge.

M: Exactly. In the first scenario, because you actually wanna learn how to get to the mall, you put your own knowledge to the test. And because you’re testing your own knowledge, you’re more mindful of the right and wrong turns that you take. But in the second scenario, you don’t really care about learning the directions. Instead, you rely on the knowledge of your friend. And because you’re relying on someone else’s knowledge, you’re not testing your own knowledge. And because you’re not testing your own knowledge, you won’t really learn anything. So your understanding of the world improves through testing your own knowledge, and the only time we test our own knowledge is when we act sincerely.

S: OK, that makes sense. Can you explain the second condition for me?

M: The second condition necessary for learning is contradiction. Contradiction is information that falsifies your understanding, or in other words, it’s proof that your wrong. Remember, when you act sincerely, you’re putting your own knowledge to the test. You’re trying to go somewhere. Contradiction is information that tells you that you failed the test. You didn’t arrive where you were trying to go. And by resolving the contradiction, you learn. That’s what learning is: the resolution of contradiction.

S: OK, let me explain that all back to you to make sure I understand. When you act sincerely, you do what you genuinely want to do. When you do what you genuinely want to do, you put your own knowledge to the test. When you put your own knowledge to the test, you may come across a contradiction. This means you failed the test, or in other words, something is wrong with your understanding. And by resolving this contradiction, you learn. Is that all correct?

M: That’s correct. So now that we know the two conditions necessary for learning, we can understand the two barriers to learning: insincerity and ignorance. Insincerity is, obviously, when you don’t do what you genuinely want to do. That means you never actually test your own knowledge, but rather, you live your life based on other people’s knowledge. Ignorance is when you ignore any contradictions to your understanding of the world. That means you never see anything wrong with your own understanding. So if you’re insincere, ignorant, or both, you won’t learn.

S: But why would someone choose to be insincere or ignorant and cut themselves off from the learning process?

M: Well, underlying all actions are beliefs. If you wanna understand why someone acts a certain way, you need to understand the belief that underlies that action.

S: What’s the belief that underlies insincerity?

M: Insincerity stems from beliefs of inferiority. On some level, you must believe it’s more important to satisfy someone else’s desires at the expense of your own, which means you value someone else’s desires over your own.

S: I never thought about it like that. Well, what’s the belief that underlies ignorance?

M: Ignorance stems from beliefs of superiority. On some level, you must believe it’s more important for someone to satisfy your desires at the expense of their own, which means you value your own desires over theirs.

S: Wait, but aren’t those two things contradictory? How can I feel inferior and superior at the same time?

M: No, actually they’re very complimentary: they almost go hand in hand. See, there’s a fundamental belief underlying feeling inferior or superior, and it’s a belief in The Way of Power.

S: What’s The Way of Power?

M: It’s a philosophy of life. People who believe in The Way of Power believe that some people are more superior or more valuable than others. They don’t believe conflicting desires can be resolved. They approach every interaction thinking, who’s the winner, and who’s the loser? They don’t believe there’s a way for both parties to win, or at the very least, they don’t see the value in that. So they’re always thinking, am I the master here or the slave? And because they believe in The Way of Power, they believe that some people must sacrifice their desires for others. When they’re in the presence of people who they feel their desires are more important than, they feel superior. But when they’re in the presence of people who they feel their desires are less important than, they feel inferior. Both feelings are possible, and they stem from a belief in The Way of Power.

S: OK, but what about people who believe that both parties can win? What about people who believe that conflicting desires can be resolved and that there’s a solution that can satisfy everyone?

M: What you’re describing is The Way of Love. The Way of Love approaches every interaction looking for the mutual satisfaction of desires. It wants everyone to win. It doesn’t wish for their to be any submission or domination, masters or slaves.

S: Hmm… is one better than the other?

M: I’ll say this. The Person of Power spends much of their time acting insincerely or ignorantly, and because of this, they don’t learn. The Person of Love, on the other hand, spends much of their time acting sincerely and paying attention to contradiction, and even more than that, they’re interested in the resolution of all contradictions. Because of this, their entire life is spent in the act of learning. The Person of Love learns to understand the effect of time on their actions, and so they become the friend of time. The Person of Power, on the other hand, doesn’t learn the effect of time on their actions, and so time becomes their enemy. On top of that, People of Power tend to attract each other, because they’re both following the same path. So they spend their lives in this game of cat and mouse, trying to get one over on each other, dominating and submitting their desires to one another. And People of Love also tend to attract each other, because they too are following the same path. They spend their lives like the man and the tree, watering and nurturing one another, finding ways to mutually satisfy each other’s desires. It’s up to you to decide. Who do you wanna be?

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In A Christmas Carol, Charles Dicken’s wrote, “I will live in the Past, the Present, and the Future. The Spirits of all Three shall strive within me. I will not shut out the lessons that they teach,” and I explored this idea more deeply through a dialogue. I was interested in what it means to live in the Past, Present, and the Future, and here’s where I’ve arrived.

There are two ways through life: The Way of Power and The Way of Love. The person who follows The Way of Love remains open to learning, understands the Effects of Time on their actions, and makes time their friend. The person who follows The Way of Power, on the other hand, closes them-self off from learning, doesn’t understand the Effects of Time on their actions, and makes time their enemy.

As always, this is just my opinion and understanding of Dicken’s words, not advice. Feel free to use this information however you like, and if you have a different take on the his words, I’d love to hear your perspective in the comments.